Kickin it This is me
by we're all beautiful
Summary: This is the second part to 'I thought forever' Please. Give the first one a read if you haven't yet. It will make things way more easier to understand :)
1. Chapter 1

** *Important, don't comment saying things you think would make my story 'better' please, don't I find it ignorant. Thanks, and if you havn't read 'I thought forever' read it. It's the first part to this :) Thank you :)!***

11 months later..

"Carmen. Please. Sleep baby girl.. Mommy need you to nap." I said rocking her baack and forth in my arms. There then was a slam of the front door to me and Oriana's apartment. I hugged Carmen and went in to the living room.  
"Kim! I'm back from class! Jerry,Milton and Eddie are bringing Dillon, Jeremy and Hannah over tonight!" She said taking Carmen from me.  
"Ok! Can you please watch her for like 10 minutes! I need some more dipers and baby wipes." I said asking her. Well, it was more of a begging type.  
"Sure! I have no problem." She smiled at me rocking Carmen to sleep. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my bag. Every month my parents would write me a check of 3,000$ to take care of Carmen and myself. I wasn't going to university, concidering I never told Jack about our baby. But I stayed home and waited for Oriana to take Carmen for me, Just so I could go get things like dipers. Jack never knew why I dropped out of school, or even why my parents kicked me out. He was too busy to really care. In my point of view, he was to busy with Saffron to even worry about the girl he took the viginity from. I got in to my car and drove off to 'Little Tykes and babies.' I walked in and picked up what I needed and left. On my way out I banged into someone, who seemed really familier.  
"Whoa, Kim? Is that you?" The boy asked.  
"Depends on who's asking."  
"It's me, Jack. What are you doing in 'Little Tykes'?" He called it for short.  
"Oh, you know. Doing a run for Dillon." I lied.  
"Oh, you guys still in touch?"  
"Yup! She's coming over tonight. Gotta go though. See ya." I said, practically running back to my prius, I drove back to the on-campus-apartment and when I got inside Carmen was bawling her eyes out and Oriana looked like she was going to rip her hair off her head.I ran to help her. I picked up Carmen and rocked her. I glanced at the clock. They would be here any minute and Carmen was like she was going to explode.  
"Carmen. Whats wrong baby girl? Mommy's here. Shh" I rocked her, Her crying slowly came to a stop.  
"How do you do that?!" Oriana asked.  
"Its a mommy gift." I laughed  
"Whatever slut." She laughed with me, messing up my hair and going to the knocking door.  
"Jerry!Milton!Eddie!" I said smiling. They knew about Carmen being Jack's but I begged them not to say a word to him, they did as promised, This was the first time I had seen them since I gave birth.  
"Hey Kim! Wow, one month and she's already bigger." Jerry said smiling and hugging my side so he wouldn't crush her.  
"Yeah, but Just ask big a pain, right?" Dillon walked in with Jeremy and smiled.  
"Dillon! Hey! How's Hannah?" I said asking about their daughter that Jeremy had been holding in his arms.  
"Getting bigger and in more trouble than ever, Good thing she's almost done her terrible twos." She smiled coming in and setting her diper bag on the floor next to the couch. I hugged Carmen before putting her in her playpen.  
"I'm guessing you haven't said anything to Jack yet?" Milton asked.  
"Why would I?" I asked, "I don't really need too. It keeps me from having to explain." I said walking into the kitchen.  
"Now you kinda have too." Eddie said.  
"What do you mean?" I asked him, feeling my stomach do flips all over.  
"Hey, So just a run for Dillon huh?" Jack walked in. Shit, Great. Great, Great! Just great. Hopefully nobody told him that Carmen was his. I would tell him if he asks. But only then. No other time. Just then. He took me into my room and sat down in a chair that I sat in when Carmen couldn't sleep, I would sit in it and rock her. I sat at the end of my bed. My back against the wall and my arms wrapped around my knees and I hugged them tightly. We sat in silence until he spoke up to me.  
"So, Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant." Crap! Does he know she's his. "I would've helped you no matter if the dad stayed or not." Good. He doesn't.  
"I guess, I thought we couldnt be friends anymore, you know, once you started going out with Saffron."  
"Don't do that to me Kim."  
"Do what?" I laughed.  
"Don't blame us not being friends after our break up, on me." He said."Anyway. Where is Mr. Daddy?" He changed the subject.  
"I don't know, You tell me." I said, smirking at him, in the way he did when we were in highschool. I got off my bed and headed to get Carmen out of her playpen, she couldn't really use it, but I put her in it to take a nap in it when I had to keep a eye on her when I'm in the kitchen. I bent down and pulled her out and hugged her tightly. I sat down next to Dillon and Jeremy.  
"So, How's the first 2 months been?" Jeremy asked me.  
"Terrible! I mean, Some moments you just know its worth it, but Other than that.. It sucks." I laughed.  
"I know what you mean," Jeremy and Dillon laughed along with me. I could feel Jack's eyes fixed on me.  
"Yeah, well you didn't have to do it alone." I looked down at the floor in sadness.  
"But Kim, you didn't have too." Eddie said referring to, the fact I could've told Jack.  
"I guess so, um.. Look, I'm going to take Carmen, and I think I'm going to be early. Night guys." I said going in to my room. I layed Carmen in her crib and crawled into my bed. I got under my blankets and softly cried to myself. I had ended up crying myself to sleep and I woke up to Carmen crying and Jack trying to make her stop. I quickly crawled out of my bed to help my baby girl feel better.  
"No, Kim I got this." Jack said, just wanting to help out.  
"Jack. You don't. Just let me see her." I yelled.  
"Ok, Fine I was just trying to help you out Kim."  
"Well, You've done enough of that."  
"What's that sapposed to mean?" Jack asked. I was talking about the night he was just 'helping' me finish my math homework while my parents were out of town. The night he was 'helping' me lose my virginity.  
"Just forget it." I shook my head, and cuddled her and rubbed her back softly, while I was sitting in the chair.  
"Kim, I'm done forgetting things. Please. Just tell me whats going on." Jack said kneeling down at my feet.  
"Just, nevermind Jack, Really."  
"No, Tell me."  
"Fine then, you want the truth?"  
"Kind of."  
"You can go get me the blanket on my bed." I laughed. He playfully glared at me.  
"Whatever you liar." He said getting up and passing me the blanket.  
"So, why'd you and Saffron break up, She was pretty."  
"But so are you. The reason we didn't last as long as you and me, is because she's a total bitch, and you aren't. Plus. She has had sex with like 500 guys."  
"Yeah. I guess..." I said looking down at Carmen, who was now fast asleep and cuddling with my tank top, I got up from the chair and layed her down in her crib.  
"Is it really that bad?" Jack asked me.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Doing this alone?"  
"Not as bad as people think. I mean Oriana makes things easier, even if she doesn't have a mommy bone in her body." I laughed at how true it was.

* * *

The next day

* * *

I woke up on the floor the next morning laying down next to Jack, My back killing me and my head throbbing. I stood up and felt the slightest bit dizzy. I walked to Carmens crib and picked her up.  
"Hey baby girl. Want something to eat?" I smiled at her. I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle. I then put it in the mirowave and then sat down on the couch with Carmen. She was doing her cute little laughing smile.  
"What? What is it Car?" I laughed at her, speaking in my baby voice. She just kept laughing. This was the moment that made this totally worth it.

* * *

Jack

* * *

I woke up on the floor. Kim was gone and the door was shut. I sleepily got up. I looked at all the books she had, Green eggs and ham, Cinerella, Sleeping beauty. Then I spotted a pink, silk covered book. _her diary. _I debated wheather I should read it or not, If she found out that I read it, she would literally kill me. But I picked up the book anyway and went into the conecting bathroom. I opened to the first page that seemed interesting.  
_January 12 2012.  
Dear diary,  
Today me and Jack broke up. I cried myself to sleep when I came home from school. He said it was for the better. FOR THE BETTER?! how could it be for the better. I love him, but I guess the feeling isn't mutual anymore. I can't believe I let that guy treat me like I was his princess, let him have sex with me and then he goes and breaks up with me. 'Cause you know, everything is normal there, anyway. I have to go. thanks for being there for pathectic Kim, diary. You know, when Jack and nobody else was.  
Kim.  
_I didn't know she felt that way towards me. I flipped more pages.  
_April 9 2012  
Diary. I have to tell someone this before I explode. Today I found out I'm pregnant, I don't know how to tell mom and dad, or even Jack. I mean I don't expect him to help like the others might, you know because of Saffron. So I mean whats the point of even telling him, right?  
Kim_

May 23 2012  
I had the dream again. The one where me and Jack were never girlfriend and boyfriend, this one makes me feel ashamed about my body, Like when I wake up from it I want to be a normal teenager. but, I'm not. I'm the teenager girl who got pregnant and didn't tell the father and the girl who has a reason to be called a slut.  
Kim.

_December 12 2012  
So, today I bought some books for my baby girl, Like cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. But none of the books stores had a book on the teenager girl who got pregnant, didn't tell the father till he found out himself. Does that mean I won't live happily ever after diary?  
Kim._

Oh, Kim. Why don't you just tell me who the dad is? I said to myself. There was then a knock on the bathroom door.  
"Jack? Ya in here?" Kim asked.  
"Yup, come in" I said prepared to get beaten up. She walked in and saw me holding her diary.  
"Jack, what are you doing with my diary?" She asked breathless.  
"I, umm.."  
"Did you read it?"  
" Kinda.."  
"Jack!"  
"I'm sorry. I just wanna know who the dad is.. he needs to be here."  
"he is.." she mumbled.  
"What?" I asked , not hearing her.  
"You." She said, it took me a few minutes to understand what she was saying. "Your her dad, Jack. I'm so sorry." She cried hugging me. This was going to take a few days to get used to.


	2. Chapter 2

_I was running from a shadowed figure. I was screaming, I heard a slight crying noise. It sounded like Carmen. I started calling her name as the crying got louder. When I found her she was wrapped in a blanket, hidden in a ally. When I picked her up there was blood on my hands. I felt a sharp pain in my back, a knife was plunged in my lower back, making me cry out in pain._  
I woke up, screaming and tears falling down my face. I was breathing heavily and my hands were shaking. Jack came running in the room. I had my face in my hands, crying. He sat on the bed next to me, hugging me tightly, rubbing my back and telling me that it was only a dream. It didn't feel like it. I was still crying and shaking.  
"Come here Kim." He said pulling me closer to him. "It was only a dream." He rubbed my head. I just layed in his arms and cried, until I was sleepy and he put me under my blankets.

* * *

That morning

* * *

I walked into the kitchen with Carmen and took out a bottle for her. Oriana was getting on her shoes, to go to class.  
"See ya Kim. Bye Carmen.. I'll be back around noon." She said slipping out the door. I nodded and started to feed Carmen. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Teen Mom 2 was on, Thanks for leaving it on MTV Oriana. I decided not to change it and left it on, I held the bottle in front Carmen's mouth.  
"C'mon Car. You gotta eat baby girl. Do it for mommy." I said in a baby voice, she opened her little mouth and swallowed the milk bit by bit. I heard footsteps come from behind the sofa, but I didn't dare turn around.  
"You know Kim, you're really good at this."  
"I don't know.. I always have my doubts about how I'm doing." I said. He looked puzzled.  
"Don't say that. I've been here less than 24 hours and by what I see, you're a great mom." He said smiling, sitting next to me.  
"You don't understand whats its like, I've given up so much for her, and all she is, is a little thing, that needs to be taken care of. Do you know what its like to always feel like you don't belong, like nothing will go your way, to always feel unwanted? No, you don't I'm guessing, because you're Jack Anderson." I said tearing up, I set Carmen in her play pen and took the bottle into to kitchen to be put in the sink.  
"You know, It's not always my fault Kim."  
"Jesus Jack, do you think that I asked for this? I wanted to go to college and have a future. I wanted to continue with Karate! I wanted a life!"  
"And you could've Kim! If you could've told me about her and then we could've made some choices together!"  
"God, you know what Jack, If you're just going to tell me all the things I could've done, Then you might as well just go back to when you had no idea who Carmen was, and that I even got pregnant. Lets just go back to that, and you can leave"  
"Kim don't-"  
"No, I've had enough men in my life leave me, you'd just add to the list of people I'm done pleasing."  
"C'mon-" I cut him off again.  
"You know what, you can just, um go. Just go, Please." I begged, feeling tears fill my eyes. He nodded and left.

* * *

Jack

* * *

Why was Kim like this. She knew that there was no way she could keep pushing me away. I wanted to be with her, to watch our little girl grow up together, I guess I should've noticed that she was pregnant. How she went from being a totally normal girl after a break up- to somebody who doesn't show up at school for 9 months, and I mean I guess I kinda thought Carmen was mine. Carmen. She was so small and innocent. Just a little baby who doesn't know whats going on around her. All she knows is what she needs and when she needs it. I couldn't let Kim take my kid out of my life, because of some stupid fight. Kim was always so strong, and she would pretend that she's strong in front of people sometimes, not me, I knew when she was feeling weak, and when she wanted help. Kim wanted help, and she needed it badly. It took me everything I had to not turn around, go back in there and hug her. All I wanted to do is be there for her and Carmen. I wanted to be a part of Carmens life. I needed to be. Something in my heart told me that Kim would realize she needs me, and she would realize it soon. But when would that be? I don't want to be te kind of dad who does a shitty job at being around. Kim knows how that feels, and I can see it in her eyes she doesn't want that to happen to her daughter. No matter how much she didn't want to put up with me.

* * *

Kim

* * *

I sat on the couch hugging Carmen, when a knock on the door came. I went unlocked the latch and opened it.  
"What Jack." I said wiping away my tears.  
"Kim, Please tell me why this keeps happening."  
"Come in. You're letting it get cold in here." I said talking about the fresh Febuary wind. It was crisp and it made my skin get tight. He walked in behind me.  
"Kim, Please. Why won't you let me help you?" He asked me. I sighed and refused to see his face.  
"Jack. Look. I don't know why,"  
"Tell me the truth Kim. You're not ok with doing this alone so why do you keep pushing me away."  
"I-I-I don't know I told you! Can you just leave me alone!?" I yelled, running into my room. I could hear him following me.  
"Kim, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of leaving you alone."  
"I'm fine with doing this. Yeah, it sucks, but I'm strong enough."  
"No, Kim. You don't have to pretend around me, I know you too much. Just tell me whats wrong." He said sitting down next to me on my bed. I sighed.  
"Fine. I'll tell you. I just don't want her to see you as a father figure, then have you leave, and then she'd be just like me. Damaged goods."  
"Kim, You're not 'damaged goods' You've been hurt, that doesn't make you anymore damaged as me and Orianna or Jerry, or Eddie. You're totally normal." He said looking deep into my eyes.  
"Don't- Don't do that."  
"Do what?"  
"Treat me so good, then break my heart." I said looking down.  
"Kim, I promise you, if you let me be there for you and Carmen, I'll always be around." He said lifting my head up.  
"Promise?" I re-assured myself.  
"Promise." He confermed and kissed my lips. I could feel a smile come on his face. His kiss made me feel like I was in highschool again, I could feel myself going back to that night. The night that made all this happen. I could feel is body on mine. His jeans rubbing on my legs. I couldn't make this mistake again.  
"Jack, Stop." I said, he listened and got up.  
"I'm sorry Kim, I didn't mean-"  
"It's ok. I think I'm just gunna go shower. Could you go watch Carmen until I get out."  
"Of course." He said leaving the room. I walked in to the bathroom and got undressed. I turned on the hot water and climbed in, After I got out of the shower and wraped the towel around my body. I picked up my clothes and walked into my room. I dropped my clothes in the hamper and walked up to my drawer. I dropped my towel and picked out my clothes. A pink tank top and black sweat pants from garage. After I was dressed I brushed my hair and walked out to check on Carmen and Jack. He was rocking her while holding a bottle up, waiting for her to start eating.  
"Look Carmen, It's your mommy. Wanna drink up for mommy?" He asked her. I laughed at her, when she started smiling at me. Spit started to drip down her chin.  
"Oh baby. Let mommy get that for you" I said getting a peice of paper towel and wiping her chin. She laughed at me.  
"You know Kim, I think you've been doing a good job." Jack said smiling.  
"You only think?" I asked laughing  
"No, Kim. I know."

* * *

The next morning (2 a.m)

* * *

"Make her stop." Jack said rubbing his head.  
"She won't! I've tried EVERYTHING Jack."  
"Isn't there something else you can do?"  
"No! This is what it's like sometimes. She just won't sleep." I cried.  
"Well, there has to be something making her not sleep. Maybe her legs hurt or something. Give her to me." He said, I passed her over to him. He layed her down on my bed and started to rub er legs, like he would do to his over worked legs in middle school. He was right though. This would help her feel better if she really was sore. Soon after that Carmen was calm and sleeping. How could I not see this before. She would have been growing, so her legs would be hurting. How could I have known her since she was born and not seen this, but Jack ad known her for a few days, and he had known what to do. After he layed her in the crib I slumped myself down on the bed and felt bad for myself.  
"Whats wrong Kim?" Jack asked me sliding next to me.  
"How could you have known what to do.."  
"Because it was just a thought that came to my mind."  
"If you thought of it and I didn't, I'm such a horrible mother." I cried. He looked at me in sadness and hugged me.  
"Kim, You're not a horrible mother. In fact you're pretty good at it. Just because you're tired at 2 a.m doesnt make you a bad mom."  
"Doesn't feel like it."  
"Kim, Seriously. It's ok, you're a good mom, and you're always going to be a good one."  
"It's just-" I started.  
"You just nothing. It's ok Kim. I promise that everything is going to work out in the end. I promise." He said taking the blanket from the chair and and putting it on top of me.  
"Night Kim. I love you" He kissed my cheek and sat in the chair, where he usually slep, in respect for me.  
"Jack. Come sleep with me. It's ok, I don't mind anymore." I said laying my head on my hands and looking at him with my tired face.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Definitly, Just come lay down." I patted the spot next to me. He hugged me until we fell asleep.

_I'm running. My breath slowing down and my feet getting tired. I heard Carmens crying, everytime I got closer I got worried on what I would find. When I spotted her I sat next to her and picked her up. My arms and hands filling with blood. I screamed until I felt a knife buldge in to my back. Making me feel a sharp pain and falling to the ground. _  
I wake up screaming again. Jack waking up as soon as I do. I was breathing heavily and couldn't calm down this time, everytime I have the dream it seems more real. Jack hugged me until I was calm.  
"Kim, you should see a doctor or something about theese dreams, I mean people have them, but they don't usually wake up screaming."  
"No I'm ."  
"Kim, Seriously. Go see a doctor. It'll make me feel better. I can watch Carmen while you go."  
"Could you come with me?" I ask.  
"Whatever you want Kim." He said laying down and hugging me. I was still shaking when I was laying down. He rubbed my back.  
"You know Jack. I wanted to tell you."  
"Tell me?"  
"About Carmen. When I found out I didn't know what'd you think about me. I thought you would just forget about me and continue going out with Saffron."  
"Kim, I wouldn't see you any different, and I would've been there to make sure somebody was going to be there for you when you went into labor. Kim. I would've gone back to you."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."


	3. Chapter 3

*Flashback*

* * *

_"Jack! Hey! I missed you! Did you know that?" I joked and kissed him. I didn't feel the same way I did when we kissed. "Is something wrong?" I asked him with puppy dog eyes._  
_"Kim, We have to talk.."  
"If its about the cookies I made, I didn't think they were that bad, I swear!" I explained.  
"It's not about the cookies, Kim." He said, sitting me down on the spot by the stairs, where we always sat.  
"What's bothering you then?" I asked again, scared that it was 'that' talk.  
"Kim, We have to break up.." Jack said avoiding my sad eyes.  
"What? Is it something I did? Something I said? I promise I can change! Just tell-"  
"Kim, Stop. Its nothing you did. It's just. I'm moving on."  
"But I thought-"  
"I'm sorry." He said getting up and walking away.  
"I thought you loved me." I whispered to myself. I waited and sat in our spot and watched students go to class. I just sat there. Jerry was in my world history class, which I had that period. When class was dismissed, Jerry came looking for me. When he noticed all I was doing was sitting there, staring into space.  
"Yo' Kim, where were you, I mean I love the idea of you becoming a badass and all, but its totally not like you. Did you and Jack have a fight?" He asked me, looking actually concerned. I was thinking to myself, Jerry?Conserened, but he really did look worried.  
"Something like that.. Jack broke up with me." I cried, a tear slowly made its way down my cheek, Jerry wiped it away as if he really was Jack. "Thanks" I forced a smile to him.  
"Well, Kim. I'll tell you something. He is a dick." Jerry said, I real laughed this time. "No, really. If he can't realize you're the girl he needs to be with, then screw him."  
"He didn't tell you? I already did." I said, regretting that night.  
"That's even worse. Don't worry. He'll realize it soon enough. But don't skip class for him. He doesn't seem to be worth it."  
"Don't say that. He's your friend."  
"I don't care. Anyone who can make you, of all people cry, doesn't seem to be worth it__."  
"What do you mean 'me of all people'?"  
"Your strong Kim, and you guys deserve each other. You make each other perfect."  
"Are you quoting Jason Derulo?"  
__"Guess so, See ya."  
"Bye Jerry." I laughed to myself. I was still hurt, and still not a virgin._

* * *

Kim

* * *

I woke up to Carmen crying, it was so cold in my room.  
"Jesus. It freezing in here." I told Jack who was now cradling Carmen, I walked to the window and closed it. Carmen stopped crying after a few minutes. We shared a laugh.  
"Were you cold baby?" I talked to her in my baby voice, as if she would answer me. "I'll go get her some milk." I said going into the kitchen.  
"Hey Oriana." I smiled.  
"I heard you again, Are you still having that dream?"  
"Yeah." I sighed opening the fridge. "It keeps getting changed, but in the end it's always the same" I explained placing the bottle in the microwave. Oriana left for class when Jack walked in the room.  
"Kim, Can I ask you something?"  
"No," I joked. "Of course." I smiled taking Carmen from him and putting the bottle in her mouth.  
"How long have you been having these dreams?"  
"I don't know.. A while, I guess."  
"Kim, you _need _to go see someone."  
"I know, I will. Just not now." I said paying more attention to Carmen. "Why do you care so much about it, everyone has bad dreams Jack."  
"Not like you. Kim, you don't just wake up shaking and screaming. You act like your possessed or something before you wake up, it's scary as hell."  
"I'm fine Jack. Just, Just forget it. I'm getting in the shower, Watch Carmen."

* * *

Jack

* * *

I sighed at how Kim was avoiding talking about her dreams. When I heard the shower start I heard singing along with it. Kim was singing 'Teardrops on my guitar' I laughed to myself. I walked over to the play pen Carmen was lying in. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. It reminded me of the first time me and Kim had became best friends.

* * *

_*flashback*_

* * *

_I had been waiting at her locker for what felt like forever. When I saw her round the corner of the hall I perked up. She smiled at me and I smiled back. When she got up to me she smiled again with a simple 'Morning Jack' as she played with the lock that was hanging from her locker door. With a few turns and a nice tug, her lock was dangling open and she unhooked it, opened the locker door and hung the lock on the locker. As she slid her arm into her locker I watched her beautiful hair hang from her shoulders.  
"Morning Kim." I smiled at her.  
"What's up?" She laughed pulling out a bright tangerine binder, with big black sharpie writing on it with big letters that wrote: Math + Science. She then pulled out another binder that had written: Health + Language Arts + Social Studies.  
"Nothing, waiting for you to hurry up."  
"Oh, so you're waiting for me, does this make us like more than friends?" She laughed avoiding my eyes, my face flushed with red, and my cheeks got hot.  
"Wha- what do you mean?" I studdered.  
"Like, we're best friends now, right?" She smiled, making me sigh with a bit of realief and I felt my face drain from the red.  
"Oh, right. Sure!" I said,She laughed and shut her locker door.  
"So you don't want to be best friends?" She joked. "I'm kidding." She laughed giving me a light push. I stumbled on my feet and then joined her again._

* * *

As I looked at Carmen, I could see that she had Kim's beautiful eyes. A nice, simple baby blue. Her hair was a dirty blonde, a mixure of mine and Kim's. I smiled at the fact that we had this beutiful little thing that would keep us linked forever. I frowned at the part when I realized, I had to tell my parents, concidering my dad didn't really aprove of me even seeing Kim, let alone having a kid with her. I never understood his hatred of Kim, he just always said she wasn't 'our type of people' I thought it might have ment, wealthy, but Kim's parents had a lot of money. So, could it mean that it was because she could beat a guy in a fist fight? Because she wasn't weak? I had no clue. But I could wait to see what my mom had to say about this. When Kim walked out with silk pajama pants on and a tank top.  
"Kim." I said cuddling Carmen.  
"Yeah?" She asked worriedly.  
"I think we need to invite my parents over for dinner and tell them about Car'" I said. She just stood there, standing before me. Looking shocked, yet happy.  
"Alright! I'll start supper and you can give them a call! This is so exciting!" She said going to the fridge. I laughed at how she was acting.  
"Kim, Its only dinner."  
"I know, but it's important Jack. It's important your parents like me. I'm the mother of their granddaughter." She said leaning over the counter. I held Carmen tight when I got the feeling I was going to drop her.  
"Kim, Calm down. Ok, could you atleast wait until I hang up the phone and find out if they can come"  
"I guess tht'd be important." She laughed and walked over to take Carmen from me. I walked over to my bag and pulled out my cell phone. I diled my house phone and to my delight, my mom answered.  
"Hello?" She said in her motherly voice.  
"Hey Mom, its Jack."  
"Oh, Jack. Hi honey."  
"Mom, could you come over tonight. I need to talk to you and dad. It's important."  
"Oh, um Sure? Is everything ok?"  
"I guess you could say that."  
"Well, Ok. I'll tell your father, We'll be around 5, is that ok?"  
"Thats fine mom. I love you."  
"I love you too Jack. Bye bye" She hung up. I pressed end and put my pone in my pocket. I walked up to Kim who was jokingly asking Carmen about dinner.  
"So, mom and dad are coming for supper." I said slapping my hands on the counter, with a sigh.  
"Whats wrong?" Kim asked turning around to face me.  
"It's just, my dad."  
"Jack, It'll be fine. Ok. I promise. I mean your mom likes me right?"  
"Yeah, she adores you."  
"There. Everything will be fine. Now go give Carmen a bath and dress her in her nicest clothes, while I start dinner." She passed Carmen to me, carefully and went back to searching te fridge and pantry. I went in to the bathroom and took off Carmen's cute little socks. Then I took off her onesie. I undid her diper and picked up the baby bathing chair/bed and layed it in the tub. When the tub was warm and filled enough I put Carmen in the baby bathing seat and started spashing water on her. She laughed and clapped her little hands, Making me smile and laugh. I wet her hair and shampooed it. The rinsing carefully, making sure none got in her cute little eyes. I did the same thing for conditioner. When I was done washing her, I pulled out a baby towel and wrapped it around her. She laughed at being wrapped up. I held he tightly, not caring if she got me wet. I then layed her on Kim's bed, searching for clothes I thought Kim would like together. I found a cute Pink shirt that said Mommy+Daddy=Me, and a cute little purple skirt. I put on her diper then sid the shirt on and the skirt. When she was done, I lifted her up and she laughed.  
"You just love to laugh at me, don't you?" I said in a baby voice. She gurgled at me, making a bubble form at her mouth. "Let's go show mommy." I walked into the kitchen and saw Kim. When she looked over at Carmen she dropped the spoon she was using to stir and covered her mouth.  
"Look how beautiful she is." She said, almost in tears. She took her from me and hugged her.  
"Look at mommy's little girl. You are just so cute! Jack! Look at her." She said.  
"Thats how I felt when I first saw you." I smirked. She gave me a modest smile.  
"Don't say that." She said.  
"It's true Kim. She's a true mini you." I said referring to Carmen.  
"You know, I didn't know what to name her for weeks. Then I remembered our little family studies project baby, how you wanted to name our baby Maria, and I wanted Carmen. Thats how she got her Middle name, too bad our baby was a boy."  
"So it's Carmen Maria Crawford."  
"Anderson. I wanted a little peice of you in my life after she was born."  
"Kim, you didn't have to do that."  
"I felt like I needed to." I smiled at her and took Carmen into the bedroom for a quick nap. Around 5 o'clock Kim started to shake. She was worried about everything that could go wrong. I assured her nothing bad was going to happen. When the doorbell rang Kim jumped. I got up and answered.  
"Jack!" My mom said hugging me tightly. She walked passed me after the hug and went right to Kim.  
"Kim! Hi honey, how've ya been?"  
"Better." She smirked. When my dad came in, he patted me on the back and walked past Kim. This was going well.. I thought. When we sat down my mom got right to the point.  
"So, Kim. Are you babysitting Carmen?" My mom asked.  
"Actually. Not really.. Um.. Carmen is my kid, Actually, She's me and Jacks." My mom stopped in mid-bite. My dad just looked at me.  
"What did I tell you Jack.. I told you not to get involved with this girl" My dad pointed at her with his fork.  
"Dad, it wasn't a one-person job. I think you know that."  
"Well Jack... How the hell do you even know its yours. She could be a tramp for all you know." My dad wasn't holding anything back.  
"Devon!" My mom glared at him.  
"No, Nora. He's right. Because after Jack broke up with me I WENT SLEEPING AROUND!"She yelled, Not telling the truth of course, just trying to make a point,  
"Kim. Just sit down."  
"No, you know.. I think I'm gonna go.. You three have a nice night." She said not looking at anyone but Carmen. She picked her up and went into her bedroom.  
"Really dad, I can't believe you, This time was way to far. It was bad enough that you made me break up with her in high school; Now what? you gonna make me leave her and my KID!?"  
"Jack, honey. Please"  
"No, I'm sorry. you should just go." I said leaving the table and going into the bedroom with Kim. She, as I suspected.. was crying.


	4. Chapter 4

**_I'm so sorry for taking forever.. Like school and friends and I need to fundraise for my grade 9 trip and all, and I've been grounded. Anyway so I'll try to update more for you guys because you're just so giving and awesome to me. So thanks for all the understanding and stuff. I so owe you all so much! See ya! and Love ya!  
~We're all beautiful~_**

Kim.

I lay on the bed, letting tears pour down my gentil face. I heard voices yelling from the kitchen. When I heard the front door shut something in my stomach said that Jack's parents were gone and he was going to come into the room soon. I slowed down my tears a bit so when he came in he wouldn't see me as upset as I actually was, kinda like every girl in the world, right ? When Jack stalked in, I heard the door creak and his tip toes on the floor. He sat by my stomach and looked down and my tear-stained face, and water filled eyes.  
"Kim, I'm so sorry!" Jack replied. "I had no idea my dad was such a dick!"  
"It's ok. Really." I replied, lying.  
"Kim. It's really not, and I am really so about everything!"  
"Jack. Listen to me. I really-"  
"Tell me the truth. Don't tell me that you're ok." He said looking deep into my eyes.  
"I'm really... not ok." I sighed avoiding his eyes. "I just feel so alone all the time, and like a total freak." I sighed and looked down at my knee's. Jack lifted up my head and looked into my crying eyes.  
"Kim. Your as perfect as everyone in the world. No different, and to be honest. I think you're better, because you're so strong." He smiled and pecked my lips. I smiled and kissed back. "Look. I never should've left you in the first place, and that I can never say sorry enough."  
"Jack. Stop, it's ok. You're here now, and that's all that matters to me." I kissed him again.  
"You don't know how awesome you are Kim" Jack smiled at me and kissed me again. Telling me that he would take care of Carmen for the night. I smiled at how he was taking a stand and being responsible for what I've dealt with by myself for a while.

* * *

1 month later..

* * *

Jack

* * *

I was watching Kim play with Carmen, while she was in her cute little floral baby blouse and a cute little pair of pink jeans, both from H&M Kids. She fakely smiled while putting her in her play pin. She turned to face me. She had the fake smile still plastered on her face.  
"Kim? Are you ok?" I asked her. She shook her head.  
"Yeah.. Of course. What would be wrong silly." She lied. I gave her my "Are you really lying to me right now?' face and walked closer to her. "Really. I'm fine." She avoided my eyes.  
"Kim.. Seriously."  
"Urgh! I don't wanna talk about it!" She plopped herself on the couch and covered her face with her hands. I sat down next to her and hugged her tight.  
"Look, I think we've been through WAY too much for you to be lying to me Kim." I whispered to her. She lifted her head way from her hands.  
"Jack, I love you, I do. I really do. But I can't do all of this anymore." She sighed.  
"Do what? You wanna break up?" I said sadly.

* * *

Kim

* * *

"Jesus, No. I mean _this_. I'm getting depressed." I sad looking down at my feet.  
"You mean, Carmen? Well... what do you want Kim. I'll do it."  
"I wanna give her up for adoption. Like I should've done in the first place."  
"What? Kim, are you crazy?" Jack asked me, I was tearing up. "Kim. Look at me for godsake." He said picking up my head harsley.  
"What Jack?! What?" I cried.  
"You can't want this." He begged.  
"But I do.. I mean I love her, but what the hell can we do. I don't know about you Jack. But I wanna go back to school! I wanna make something of myself"  
"Like what Kim?"  
"I don't know! Like, What would happen if we broke up? Huh? No one would ever love somebody with a kid at 21!"  
"Kim! What the fuck! What do you want to make of yourself?!" Jack yelled. I hated it when people yelled at me, it made me cry harder then I already was.  
"I don't know! Not this! Thats for sure!" I yelled, tears flooding my face.  
"Kim. Don't cry." He said walking towards me, I walked back, in fear. "C'mon Kim. I didn't mean to yell."  
"Don't come any closer to me Jack Brewer!" I backed further back  
"Kim. What the hell?"  
"Just! Go!" I yelled pointing towards the door. He stood there, staring at me. "Leave!" I cried. He walked closer to me, saying my name softly. "I hate you Jack! Just go! I never want to see your face again."  
"What about Carmen, she's daughter too."  
"Then just go back to when you never even knew about her and I'll figure it out myself!" I cried even harder.  
"What if I can't Kim?"  
"Then you're shit outta luck, now arn't ya?"  
"Kim, please!"  
"Jack just think about it, do you really think we'd still be together if I didn't get pregnant?" I asked, letting a single tear form in my eye. "Just leave ! Please!" I begged.  
"Fine" He said. He walked out the front door, I heard his car start up and drive away. Just then my phone rang. Jerry's name popped up. I sniffed and answered.  
"Hello?" I answered, sniffing again.  
"Hold on Kim...-" Jerry put his mouth away from the phone, and I slightly heard him say to someone, 'Kay so she's either crying or doing drugs..' there was a short conversation, then he came back. "Kim. Wassup? Jack just asked if he could stay at my place for a while. What happened?"  
"We had a fight." I blandly said. " I told him I wanted to put Carmen up for adoption.." I trailed off.  
"What?"  
"I know, I'm a terrible person.."  
"Kay. One sec Kim. Here talk to Grace." I eard Jerry greet Jack in the background  
"Kim? Its Grace."  
"Grace? Am I bad person?" I cried.  
"No! You're not! It's ok. You are a good person Kim. Ok? A good person!" Grace said repeated over and over. I had a hard time believing it, even though she said it enough times.  
"But Grace! I am." Little did I know I was on speaker. "I'm such a horrible person!"  
"My god Kim! You're not! You've just had some shit luck!" She explained to me.  
"Grace what the fuck have I done! I'm such a screw up.. I fuck everything up!" I cried. It was now possible for them to know I was crying because I was making sobbing noises and sniffing  
"Kimmy. Fuck you!" Grace laughed. "You're not a screw up, mm'k? Your actually so beautiful, and a good mom. No matter how depressed you get. You put other people in front of your feelings, just because you didn't today, doesn't make you a bad person!" She yelled into the phone. I heard the door shut in the background.  
"Who just left?" I asked.  
"Umm, well how do I tell you this... you were on speaker and Jack and Jerry are going over to your place to put some sense into you... but heeey!" She carried off.  
"Grace!"  
"I'm sorry! It was Jerry's idea!"  
"Jerry! I gotta go Grace.. see ya." I never got as mad as I did today. I threw my phone at the wall. it shattered into a million peices. I still didn't feel any better. I went into the bathroom and grabbed a rasor, disecting it so the blade would fall to my feet. I picked it up and without thinking about another thing, I slashed it across my wrist. Blood rose to the skin. Covering my whole wrist and half of my hand. I dropped to the bathroom floor, and without any warning I heard Jack and Jerry enter through the front door. I lept to my feet and shut the door, with a slam and a click of the lock, they instantly knew where I was. They banged on the door.  
"Kim open this door!" I didn't say anything. Just watching the blood come from the slash. They played with the door knob a bit before saying,  
"Kim! This isn't funny! Open this damn door!" Jack yelled. I waited a few seconds, then silence. I felt myself getting weakier and weakier. Then I blankly saw Jack and Jerry run in. Then it was all black.

* * *

Jack

* * *

When we were outside the door I remembered a trick I could use to unlock the bathroom door. I ran to the kitchen and got a butter knfe, sticking it into the lock and sliding it so it opened. We wern't ready for what the door was going to revel. As the door opened I saw a pool of blood around Kim. Me and Jerry looked at eachother with a quick worried look then ran in. As we got to her side her head went limp. I was trying to wake her up when Jerry found the slash taken out of her wrist. I couldn't belive my eyes. I quickly covered the wound with my ands, trying to keep the blood from oosing out anymore.  
"Jerry! UM.. FUCK! Start the water." I said pointing to the tub. As he started it up. I stuck her wrist under the water. "Jerry! Go call 9-1-1!" He scurried to his feet and took out is phone leaving the room. As I ran the water, I noticed the bleeding had slowed but, was still oosing out. I started talking to her. 'Please, Kim. Don't die. Don't die, Kim.. God. Please don't take her.' I said under my breath. A few tears fell out of my eyes. Jerry then came running back in.  
"They're comming Jack! They're on their way. The lady said they already had one driving around the area so they'll be here like.. now." Jerry said as the paramedics rushed in. I stood up and backed up. Getting out of the way. they pulled her onto a gernie and held the wound as I was. They carried her to the back and slammed the door, drving off. I just stood there. Staring at the parking lot.  
"Jack. She'll pull through. I know she will, it's Kim." Jerry said trying to comfort me. I still said nothing. "Jack, bro. It's gunna be ok." He explained. "Need a bro hug?" He asked me. I just turned looking at him, then hugged him. A few more tears fell, but I let go.  
"C-ca-can we-we follow th-them?" I studderly asked.  
" Yeah, lets go." Jerry said, walking to the car. As we stumbled in Jerry swore under his breath, still putting the peices of what he just saw together. "Jack. Kim is really depressed. I don't think she was just saying that.. shit man." He said turning the keys and driving out of the parking lot. "She really loves you man. I haven't seen her like this since, your first break up."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Jack, when you broke up with her, and she found out she was pregnant, She tried to kill herself. I mean she was pretty upset that you guys broke up, and she accepted it, but I guess being pregnant just pushed her over the edge."


	5. Chapter 5

Kim

* * *

Everything was pretty blurry until I blinked a few times. I look around the room and notice that only Grace and Orianna were there. They had noticed me almost right away. Grace happily laughed, hugging me.  
"Can somebody please tell me where I am?" I asked them. They shared a look then looked back at me.  
"Kim. You're in the hospital.." Orianna cried. "I thought you were gone.. don't ever pull that shit again?! Ok!?" Orianna cried. I started to cry too. I hated seeing my best friends upset, next thing I knew Grace was bawling her eyes out too. "I'm so sorry guys!" I hugged them tightly. It was like a group hug of tears. I don't know what the guys thought was going on because then in ran Milton,Eddie,Jerry,Julie and lastly Jack. But as everyone ran in to see me, Jack stood in the door way. Saying nothing, just smiling glumly. "Kim!You're ok!" Milton cried too. This made me feel terrible about putting my friends through so much. I mean this was the second time I gave them a scare like this. "Guys! I'm so sorry!It's all my fault." I cried.  
"Kim, don't say sorry for being depressed. The doctor diagnosed you with it just a few hours ago" Eddie explained. I layed back and adjusted to the fact I had depression. Nobody would have guessed it either.  
"Hey. Just another surprise in life, huh?" I laughed, making light of the situation.  
"Hey guys. Can I talk to Kim.. alone?" Jack finally spoke up. I sighed to myself as everyone agreed and left the room. Jack took Julie's spot, in a chair next to me.  
"Jack..-" I started, just to get cut off.  
"No, Kim. It's my turn to talk. Why didn't you just tell me you felt like this? Oh, Jerry told me what happened after we broke up. I had no idea." He explained to me.  
"Please don't Jack." I said feeling pitied.  
"Don't? Don't what?" He asked  
"Treat me like I'm anymore different from you, or anyone else. You said I wasn't any different. You said I perfect! You said I was better than normal!" I cried, letting tears fall from my eyes.  
"Kim, you_ are_ perfect."  
"Then don't look at me like I'm broken, please." I cried. He stood up from the chair and hugged me, letting me cry into his t-shirt.  
"You really scared the shit outta me today Kim." He started to cry too.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry Jack. I didn't mean too."  
"Just promise me one thing." He said putting his head to my hair, I looked up at him with concerned eyes.  
"What?" I asked letting another tear fall from my eye. Jack did the same.  
"Don't _**ever**_ do this to me again." He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.  
"I promise." I kissed his lips. They were soft and gentil. I reached my arms around his neck and he sat down next to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging and kissing me more. He softly pulled away.  
"Kim. I love you so much! I hardly knew what to do with myself when I thought you were gone."  
"Jack?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I love you."

* * *

Orianna

* * *

I was in class when my phone started to buzz. Out of 300 people in the class, everyone found where the noise was coming from almost instantly. The professor glared at me and continued his lesson on Oceans. I quietly tip-toed out of the classroom and walked out into the hall. I answered it in a hurry to get the call over with. "What Eddie! I'm in oceans!" I said angrily in a whisper, as if I was still in class.  
"Kim's on the way to the hospital! I guess you could say it's a bit of an emergency." I couldn't collect my mind. I shuddered. "Wha-what?" I asked him  
"Just get to the Saint Seaford hospital. We'll explain everything there. He hung up and I put my phone in my pocket and ran back into the class to get my things. My neigbor, A.K.A boyfriend Ty ask me where I was going. I dropped a tear and told him what Eddie had said. I sweetly asked him to take some notes for me. He silently agreed with worried eyes. "I'm sure she'll be fine. I'll text you when I find out what the hell is going on." I said grabbing my bag and leaving. I quickly looked through my purse my car keys. I searched and searched. When they finally appeared I let out a happy sigh and unlocked my car. I slid in and turned on the radio, putting on my seat belt. I drove down the highway and finally made it to the hospital. There was an ambulance parked out front. Then there was Jack and Jerry getting out of Jerrys car. I looked for anysigh of a car seat. I walked up to them in a hurry. "Where's Carmen?" I demanded.  
"At my moms.. We kinda for got about her, until we got to the highway and turned back.." Jack gave me the oops look.  
"Jack! How could you! Kim would kill you." I said as the expression on his face saddend.  
"C'mon lets just go in." Jerry said taking my hand and pulling me along.  
"Can somebody please tell me whats going on, and why i'm here instead of in class!" I cried as we got on the elevator and pressed the button with a three on it. "Calm down mamasita. Everything is going to be fine." Jerry said trying to calm me down.  
"Jerry, If you wanna have kids someday.. you better not call me that again" I said with a evil smile as the elevator dingged with a weird feeling stop at the third floor. There was Grace waiting in the waiting room with Eddie, Milton and Julie.  
"Whats going on!" I cried.  
"Kim.. She uhh... cut herself.. Real bad." Eddie explained.  
"Wha-what? No.. She couldn't have!" I cried harder, A nurse came up to us and asked if we were friends or family of Kim Crawford. We shook our heads and she told us only 2 of us could go in. I wanted Jack to go in alone, but he and Jerry agreed on Me and Grace to go in. I sighed. I wantd to see Kim, just not like this. We walked in slowly. As I saw her whitend face and bandage on her arm I was in full tears, just prepard to be told she didn't make it.

* * *

Jack

* * *

As I watch Kim slowly fall asleep my mind keeps flashing to the moment of finding her on the floor, loosing life. She was cute when she slept. I was wondering what she was dreaming about. Who she was dreaming about. I sighed and rested my head on the chair that I was sitting on. I yawned and before I knew it, I was fast asleep. It was about 10, I had been here for hours and my mom agreed to watch Carmen for the night, just until Kim could go home. -Line Break-  
I woke up to Kim screaming again. She was woke up crying and shaking more than anyother time. I hugged her close and kissed her forehead. She looked up at me, and with a shaky voice she said  
"Jack.. I'm scared." I was worried about what she was talking about.  
"Kim? What are you talking about?" I asked sliding next to her putting my arm around her.  
"I mean, I'm scared.. how more clear can I be?" Kim asked, sounding frustrating.  
"I meant, what are you scared about?" I asked her softly.  
"These dreams keep getting more, and more scarier. I need to talk to someone Jack. Really soon."  
"Shh.. It's ok Kim. I promise. We'll talk to someone.." I hugged her and layed back down in the chair. I fell back into a deep sleep, and so did Kim.

* * *

The next day.  
(Kim)

* * *

I woke up, glancing at the clock. 9:37. I looked around the room, Jack was nowhere to be found. I slumped back and stared at the wall. I stared at my cracked polish on my nails. I started to pick at it, and watch it fall off and onto the blanket. After I had picked off all the paint on my thumb nail, in came someone I never thought I'd see. My mom. She walked in with the click of her high heels.  
"Mom? What are you doing here?" I asked sliding myself up on the bed. She walked up to me and sat in the chair I had watched Jack fall asleep in the night before.  
"Kim, don't do that.. You know I love you. Look.." She carried on.  
"How did you know I was here. I thought that you never wanted to see me again.. I thought I was a disgrace to you.."  
"Jack called me." She said. Jack called her?! he knew we hadn't talked, and that I hated her for everything she did to me.  
"Ja-Jack told you? Like everything?"  
"Kim, honey. Look, I think you should move back me and Carmen." She said.  
"Mom, I - I don't want too! I want to stay where I am, I'm happy."  
"It doesn't exactly look that way Kimberley."  
"Mom! That's not fair, Just because-"  
"Kim, you almost killed yourself because of your depression.. I can't have you in that enviroment."  
"Oh, but you can put me in the enviroment where I take care of a kid by myself and practically live on my own?"  
"Kim, honey that's different, That baby is the reason we aren't as close as we used to be."  
"No mom, you are. Can you please just go. I don't wanna talk about it.. I don't wanna talk to _you_" I said looking away from her and staring at the opposite wall. I stayed quietly until I heard her heels click on the floor and fade away. I sighed and then I heard someone walk in the room. I turned it was a nurse.  
"Well Kim. You can go home now. You all set?" She said.  
"I was ready hours ago." I smiled and laughed.  
"The food's not like at home, no is it?" She smiled.  
"Yeah.." I said putting on the clothes I was brought in with and headed out to the front of the hospital. There was no sign of Jack or Jerry's car. I gave off a huff and started to walk. I finally got to the parking lot of the appartment and I took out the keys from my bag. When I walked in it was all dark.  
"Jaacccck! I'm going to kill you!" I said searching for a light switch. I banged my knee on the table near by. "Ah! Fuck!" I started to wince it pain. "Jack, where the hell are you!" I finally found a light switch and turned it on. The appartment was empty. I sighed with saddness and went into my room and waited for Jack or somebody to come home. I was also very mad that I had been forced to go home on foot. When I finally heard the door open I got off my bed and walked in to the living room area.  
"Kim? Ya here?"  
"Yeah, no thanks to you." I said taking Carmen from him.  
"Kim! I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean for you to be stuck at the hospital."  
"I wasn't stuck Jack. I walked.." I said walking away.  
"Kim.. I asked Jerry to pick you up while I got Carmen from my parent's house."  
"That was the second mistake."  
"What ? what was the first?"  
"Calling my mom, Jack She wants me to move back in with her." I sighed putting Carmen in her crib.  
"What? Well.. you can't."  
"I never said I was, and you don't tell me what I can or can't do."  
"Kim.. I'm sorry. Why are you mad?" He asked  
"I'm not mad! I'm just- I don't know anymore.." I said slouching on the bed.  
"Kim.. It's ok. The doctor said that for the next few days, while the anti-depressants kick in you'll be a bit confused, and I'll be here to make sure-"  
"Make sure what? I don't try to kill myself! Then do me a favour and stop bringing it up every 5 minutes! Ok!"  
"Kim.. you need to calm down.."  
"You know what I need?"  
"What?"  
"To get some space from you.. so could you just go.. on the couch or to Jerry's or something.. please." I said softly.  
"I'll take the couch." He said leaving the room, full of sadness. 'I love you Jack..' I wanted to say. But I didn't.


	6. Chapter 6

**_I know this is short compared to everything else. and its been forever, but you know how it is..._ WRITERS BLOCK_ but here you go :) enjoy..._**

_November,13,2012.  
dear diary,  
well diary. today I was told I have depression.I think it has to do with Carmen. I mean I'd hate to blame her, but she could be one of the causes. Oh and you know how I told you me and Jack are together, well I totally screwed that up.. I feel like everything that goes wrong in this relationship, it's always my fault. I mean, if I didn't get myself stupidly pregnant, we wouldn't have been to the hospital, and I mean I wouldn't be depressed. Diary! It is all my fault! Why is it always my fault. I mean even when we were dating in highschool, it was always my fault.  
Love you always cause you listen,  
Kim._

* * *

_Kim_

* * *

When I wake up I go to the living room and sit next to Jack with my feet up on his lap.  
"Kim, I'm sorry about last night." He said playing with my rainbow socks.  
"No, Jack. It was my fault." I sighed. My fault. I hardly ever heard Jack say it. It was usually always me saying it, if we were dating or not.  
"Don't say that. It wasn't. I should be more sensitive to you." He said looking directly at my face.  
"Jack, I love you so much, I mean like I can't tell you how much I love you. Please, Just forgive me."  
"Forgive you for what?"  
"Just.. For everything.."  
"Ok. Kim, I forgive you for everything.. Now give me an idea of what is in the category; everything?"  
"Getting Pregnant." I said muffled avoiding his gaze.  
"Kim.. Look at me. It's not your fault. Please don't feel like that, because we did this together, and I'll never regret it. No matter what." He said putting my feet to the ground and sliding closer. He put his arm around me and hugged me.  
"No matter what?"  
"No matter what, Kim." He kissed my forehead, and hugged me tighter. He rubbed my back and made me feel safe.  
"Jack. We need to talk."  
"About Carmen, right?"  
"Please don't hate me." I said sniffing, almost at the verge of tears.  
"I would never hate you Kim, I couldn't if I tried." He said, making me smile, and let the tears that were resting in my eyes pour out.  
"I can see if one of the guys, or my mom can watch her while we talk about it."  
"That'd be great." I smiled, letting another tear fall, he wiped it away with his gentil thumb.  
"Why are you crying?" He laughed.  
"I don't know.. I just felt like it I guess..." I sobbed and laughed. Jack hugged me and kissed my forehead.  
"So, when do you wanna do all this talking?"  
"Tomorrow morning?"  
"Sure. I'll go check on Car" he said getting up and going to the bedroom with Carmen. I sighed and layed my head on my hand and watched the wall. 'Is this what you want Kim?' the voice in my head asked me. What if I made a choice I totally regretted. I love Carmen. But I can't deal with being a young mother anymore

* * *

_November,14,2012_  
_dear diary,  
listen, so its been a long few years and a hell of a few months. I mean it's been totally awesome seeing Jack and getting to know he still loves me. And then with the gang finally being together, and yet it's my fault again to just see everyone fall apart. It was my fault that I wasn't the girl Jack's parents wanted him to be with, then it was my fault for even getting pregnant and then it was my fault for just fading away and letting go from everyone around me. Then I was finally doing something that helped us get back together and I made sure that the group was happy. But, now its going to be my fault that the group is just going to go and crumble again. I really hope Jack doesn't find you diary, it's just that he'd totally hate me for thinking about this being my fault, he would be all romantic and shit then make me feel better for a little while. I just want to feel good about myself all the time, forever, as if it would be permanent.. I guess you could say. Yeah I want to feel good about myself permanently.  
~Kimberley_

* * *

Me and Jack sat in the car in a perfect silence. Carmen in the background making happy gurgling noises that made the drive to Jerry's condo less awkward and sad. We knew we would end up calling the adoption services but, we made it as if there could be a dying chance of keeping her. As we pulled into a parking space that had seemed to fit perfectly. I sigh and look up to the blue sky. I felt as if this day should've fit my mood. You know one of those days that are gloomy,dark,the tiny mist of rain and the wind that made the rain that felt as if it was falling way harder than it actually was, but no it was a wonderful day, as the birds were hanging on power lines and the sun shining that left a humid air and warm breeze. Nothing that matched my mood, in fact it was the compleat opposite. As I reach into the backseat of the car to pick Carmen out of her pink and black car seat. I picked her up with a grunt and sat her into my arms comfortably. She curled my hair with her petit hands and laughed, I smiled at her and gentally slid her hand away from my hair.  
"Stop it baby." I smiled and kissed her face. Jack was locking the car door and walking close behind me and Carmen. As we knocked on the condo door Jerry opened with a glum smile.  
"Hey Jerry." I smiled, unhooking myself from Carmen. "Oh, and thanks."  
"No problem Kim. It's the absolute I could do" He said taking her and turning around and closing the door behind him. Turn to go back to the car, but bump into Jack in the process. I squeal and laugh. As we go to the car I could feel eyes on me as if a stalker had chose me for the day. We crawled into the seats in the car and turned on the radio. We pulled out of the lot and headed on the highway.

* * *

Alana

* * *

As I wake up in a strangely familiar bedroom, but for some reason I felt like this wasn't the room I had woken up the morning before. Something.. different in the enviroment. As I slump down the stairs in my hollister shorts and tank top along with my fuzzy slippers. I went into the kitchen and found an apple. I ate it as I walked into the living room, still feeling as if I was in a totally different condo. Then I noticed what it was. There stood Jerry with a baby.  
"Uhh, Morning?" I laughed, a bit worried.  
"Hey." he said looking back to the baby as if it was nothing different.  
"Do you have someting to tell me?" I asked seriously.  
"No, I don't think so." He said stupidly.  
"The baby Jerry! The baby!"  
"Kim and Jack. Chill out Alana, I'm... 'Babysitting'" He laughed again.  
"Oh, alright." I turned and walked out with my apple. "Oh and Jerry?"  
"Yeah" He smiled at me.  
"Don't tell me to chill" I smirked and winked. I walked into the kitchen where the compost sat. I threw my apple core in the bin and went back to sit with Jerry. As I sat down by Jerry the little girls face lit up.  
"So, whats her name?"  
"Carmen. If you ask me, shes just like Kim. You can see it in her eyes, she's gonna have the boys scared out of their wits when she turns give or take 10 years old." Jerry laughed. I knew he truely believed this. So did I. I could see the little strength in her eyes. I never met Kim, or Jack. Me and Jerry haven't been going out long enought for me to have met them. They sorta let themselves get cut off from everyone since the little 'Kim incident' as Jerry explains it to me.  
"Ya think?" I ask as if I didn't already know the answer, it was a giveaway answer considering he had just said it.  
"Yeah, I mean she has Jack's confidence, you can see it in her smile, and in her eyes you can tell she'll be the bravest. They were always a good team, Ya know? Always the leaders" Jerry explained to me. "Its broke all of our hearts to see Jack hurt her so badly. Because then we couldn't be the 5 member team, Kim totally shut everyone out, and Jack? We never saw him seem so... different. He wasn't himself without Kim, and when they were together after all this time, they were both back to being Jack & Kim not just Jack and just Kim." He sighed and looked down at the fragile thing that sat below him. "We were family again" He smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**this is it guys! the moment where you find out baby carmens future :o but,dont worry.. this isn't going to be the last chapter :) **

Me and Jack sit in the car, outside of our favorite place. I wasn't sure we should be _here_ making _this _decision. I mean the choice we make today could make us never want to come back. I had a feeling Jack felt that way too, but he just left us parked there. Sitting in silence. We couldn't just sit here and not say anything. We had to be mature about it and talk about it, but the silence continued. I was getting sick of saying nothing, this was our future we were talking about. not just some stupid pizza topping or what movie we should go see, we were making the choice on if we should keep our child, and to me, we would've started talking 20 minutes ago. Instead we didn't mutter a peep. Just leaving each other to our thoughts.  
"Kim. We can't just sit here for the rest of the day. We came here so we could talk." Jack said, expressing how he felt.  
"If we give her up, what will happen to _us?" _I sympathetically asked him.  
"We'll eventually move on. We may never forget but we'll get over it." He smiled sadly.  
"No Jack. I mean me and you. What about us as...a couple." I asked worriedly.  
"Nothing. We can get through it together and stay together, nothing bad is going to happen." He stroked my hair.  
"What do we do?" I asked, letting the tears form in my eyes. As I blinked one fell.  
"Whatever could be the best for her."  
"But, if we give her up, I'll have failed." I feared. If we gave her up, I should've just gave her up in the first place.  
"Kim, you can't keep doing this to yourself."  
"Doing what?"  
"Beating yourself up over one mistake." he explained.  
"But-"  
"Kim.. Please. It wouldn't make you a failure, it'd make you a try-er."  
"I tried and failed."  
"No, Kim. You tried. You can't fail at this. Most people don't even try to get through the pregnancy. You are strong." He said sounding cheesy, but I loved him for that.  
"So what do we do?"  
"Give her to a family who can take better care of her, and live our lives like we would be if she wasn't born."  
"Are we still together in this life?"  
"Definitly." He kissed me. I could feel his smile form as we kissed. 'I love you Jack' I whispered. 'I love you Kim' he whispered back.

* * *

line break(Kim)

* * *

When Alanah opened the door, my eyes were puffy and wet. Jack stood behind me, emotionless. Our decision was final. We had to give up Carmen. She ignored us, relising we needed to heal on our own. She smiled politely and passed us Carmen. I smiled back, thanking Jerry. I put her in her car seat and got back in the front. It was sad thinking about how she didn't know what would happen to her. I stared out the window on the way to the adoption center. Jack layed his hand on my leg and gave me a shy smile.  
"We're doing the right thing Kim."  
"Are you sure?" He gave me a reassuring smile and replied.  
"I know it is. I promise." I continued to look out the window. As I look out the window another little tear creep from my eyes. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting Jack to see me cry again. When we parked into the lot we walked in the sliding doors and sighed. This was it. It was one of those sad movie moments, that are in slow motion and the sad music is playing, I hardly remember anything about it. Just that when I handed her away after signing 20 minutes worth of papers, she cried and tried to cling to me, which had me crying too. Jack pulled me into his chest and hugged me tightly, letting me cry all over his shirt. I could feel his tension, he didn't want to cry with me, he wanted to show that it was going to be ok and that nothing bad would come of this whole thing. As I cling to him I feel him breathing heavy. Trying to keep it together. As soon as he lost his tension, I looked up. He had his lips pushed up to my head when I moved. As I moved my forehead up, I noticed that a single tear fell down Jack's face. I looked sadly at him and motioned to the car, as if saying 'lets get out of here' he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we went to the car. As we drove on the highway I didn't know what to say. It was obviously killing Jack inside to be strong for me.  
"Do you think she'd ever forgive us?" I asked , avoiding eye contact.  
"I don't know. Maybe.. Maybe not. But it doesn't matter as much, cause she won't remember us." Jack explained. I knew he was right but it hurt to hear it out loud.  
"You'll get a better chance someday Kim. _We'll _get a better chance"  
"Yeah.. Someday. But that's not going to be anytime soon. Starting today, I'm making something of myself. Something that I always wanted to be."  
"And what would that be?" Jack smirked, bringing his eyes back to the road.  
"Other than your girlfriend? I have no fucking idea." I laughed to myself.  
"You'll figure it out. You always do." He smiled.

* * *

Jack

* * *

Carmen was out of our hands forever. We wouldn't know who she ended up with, but they said she would find a home right away. When we got back to the apartment Kim didn't say anything. She turned on a light and went back to the bedroom, closing her door. I heard the latch lock, It was going to be us, and it would feel like we had a lot of time on our hands now that we didn't need to take care of a baby. I heard the phone beep, Kim was calling someone, I wanted to walk in the room and ask her who she was talking to, but that would seem to obsessive. So I quietly moved around and listened to the whispers coming from the room. I only made out a few words, but never a name. I put my head to the door and listened more.  
"Look, I did what you wanted me to do. She's gone. He won't have anything to do with her. He'll make something of himself." The talking stopped and Kim continued to listen, so did I. She hadn't said anything for a while. But I could hear her breathing heavy and sighing.  
"No! You said that we could-" She stopped.  
"You know ! I did this for you! I made it look as real as possible! You promised me!" She muttered again before stopping.  
"What is your problem with me!?" "I've done nothing to you!" I was very confused on what was going on, on the other side of that line. _Who_ was on the other side of that line.  
"Devon. Jack has no idea that I did this for you. Just you can't take _him _ away from me too! I loved her and he did too! We aren't 16 anymore Devon. Jack does what he wants, so it won't matter what you say to him." Kim said. so she gave away our daughter because my dad told her to? She hung up and I walked away from the door and turned on the T.V. I was angry and a bit upset that Kim had lied to me. It seemed lately that we couldn't tell each other the truth.  
"Who were you talking to?" I asked testing our trust.  
"Nobody. It doesn't matter"  
"I heard you Kim. You were talking to my dad, about Carmen. Why?"  
"Jack, it's not a big deal. I promise."  
"It is a big deal! You told my dad that you would lie to me to give Carmen up! That's a big deal Kim! You lied to me."  
"I lied so I could get your dad on my side, we made a deal."  
"Kim! Why the hell would you do this ! I thought.. you loved me"  
"I do Jack. I love you more than anything in the world." She stepped forward to me, using her soft and sincere voice, it was gentile yet graspy. She was sounding like if I didn't forgive her, she would start to cry. I felt manipulated.  
"I can't believe you did this to me."  
"I'm so so sorry. But you need to understand that this was for the best. Just please. Don't go. Don't be mad at me! Please!" She begged. Kim was now in tears. I couldn't stay here. I grabbed my coat.  
"I'll see you in the morning, don't do anything stupid." I said, emotionless.  
"Where are you going?!" She cried.  
"Jerry's." I said, yanking open the door and slamming it shut, getting into my car.

* * *

Kim

* * *

Jack leaves. I found myself fighting with him more about Carmen and her future more than over life itself, he never wanted to just sit down and talk.. he was a bit as you could say.. hot headed. I walked back to the wall and slid down holding my head to my knees. This relationship was harder than it was when we were teenagers. I guess that Jacks dad got what he wanted in the first place. Jack out of my life. I never quite understood why he hated me so much that I had to give away my child to get the tiny bit of respect from him. But the words Jack had said to me before he left went around and around my head. 'Don't do anything stupid.' His voice echos in my head. The feeling of his words stung me like a bee. He wasn't ever going to trust me again, until the doctors say I'm back to the same me. I go in to the bedroom and I take his suit case and start going through the drawers and closet for all of his things, he was going to move out anyway, might as well do it before it hurts too much. I packed everything up and cleaned all the clothes of his that were dirty and I pack them up too. In a corner sat his stuff for the rest of the night waiting for him to come home and get it. I wasn't going to be here anymore. When he came back tomorrow I would be gone. With nothing but a letter.

The next morning at dawn, I knew Jack would still be sleeping. I crawled out of bed and grabbed a pen and paper. I sat at the counter deciding what I should write. When I finally thought of something and finished it I grabbed my stuff that I had also packed, took the letter sat it on the top of his suit case and out the door I went. It was a beautiful view, the sun wasn't fully up yet, and I looked at it for a while before getting into my car. When Jack came home he would be in for a hell of a surprise that I don't regret yet.

* * *

Jack

* * *

When I woke up at Jerry's it was 9:30. I rolled off the couch and grabbed my keys and jacket. Jerry was in the kitchen and I explained to him I was leaving and hopped into my car. I was a bit cooled off but me and Kim still needed to talk. The highway was a breeze with hardly anyone on it. I would pass by the rare car but that was it. When I pulled into the parking lot I didn't see Kim's car so I figured that she had gone out. When I opened the door with the spare key I was given, the apartment was a total desert. Nothing to indicate that someone had lived here. When I walked into the living room I saw my suit case in the corner with a half folded piece of paper. I was puzzled and picked up the letter. When I unfolded it I saw Kim's neat writing on it. I smiled to myself as I noticed that she had even put the date on it. March 7th 2013. But my face dropped when I read the middle line.

**_Jack,  
By the time you read this I'll be gone. And before you get your heart racing, like we both know you do, I'm not gone, gone. I mean I've left. Wait.. that sounds like I died too. Ok. Let me start over. I've left Seaford. I'm moving on. There better? Listen. I know you'll have a hard time but as I'm writing this letter, I'm asking myself if I feel the tiniest piece of guilt, and you know what Jack? I don't. I think this will be a fresh start for me. Nobody knows my past, and I will find it easier to move past all the shit in my life, and you know that will be good for me. _**

**_Jack. I understand how you'll be feeling right now. Your heart is pounding and your thoughts are all jumbled up in your head. Thats how well I know you Jack. I want a new start and you should too, but without me. and before you ask yourself why?.. think.. think really hard about what you said to me before you left. Remember? You told me not to do anything stupid. That shows me that you have to remind me to not hurt myself again, but you didn't care enough to stay and make sure of this. You left Jack. and to me, that was your choice. I'm done fighting with you. Do you think that's good for me? I don't. We would never fight like this when we were teenagers, and I'm just SICK of it all. I'm moving on to something better, and maybe someone better, and even though the idea makes even me sick, the idea of me being with someone else. I know it's going to be the best for me. No reminder of my past. _**

**_No, I will not tell you where I am going. Nobody, not even me knows. Because if I tell someone then my past could just come catching up with me and this whole thing, this letter, the time I took to pack up everything, will be a waste of my life, and I don't want that for me anymore. Even though I'm gone. I might decide to return, but this would only be a rare case. (You have by noon to leave.) I don't feel like I should return to Seaford with out a good motive, and you, Jack are not my good motive. And for gods sake Jack. We can't trust each other anymore. I need someone to trust me. I love you Jack, I really do. But, lets be honest. This is for the best. Now I have to sum up this letter before my tears stain the page, because I feel a little bit of regret now, but not enough to stay. _**

**_Good bye Jack. I love you, and you'll always be in my heart.  
Love,  
Kim._**


	8. Le Fin

**THE FINALE **

* * *

As I stare at the letter I feel a upsetting emotion come to me. 'She's-She's gone?' I asked myself. I grabbed my stuff that she packed and left, leaving the key on the counter. I stare into the empty apartment and then close the door. It was a real movie moment. I head to my car and drive back to Jerry's. When he opens the door he stares at me and sigh's that says 'Not another fight..' But I shake my head and his sigh lightens to a 'then why are you here?' I just stand there into the silence.  
"She's gone Jerry. She packed her stuff and left." I said breaking into tears, hugging him. Jerry just stood there. Not knowing what to do. When the hug faded Jerry helped me bring my things inside and I blankly looked at walls all day. Everyone was so shocked at the fact that Kim had actually done it. She left. And wasn't coming back. The world around me felt like it was just crumbling, nothing would ever go right again. What if it was just a reaction from her antidepressants? What if she really didn't want to do this, but it was the only thing to do for her confusion.

* * *

2 WEEKS LATER (Grace)

* * *

Jack just slumped around all day everyday. It was really getting me down. It had been 2 weeks. We all got over the fact that Kim wasn't coming back. I mean sure. It sucked mother balls, but we couldn't do anything about it. We didn't know where she was. So we couldn't just go get her. We would have to just move the hell on. Right? Jack didn't see it that way though. I think he mentally made himself think she was coming back. Orianna and I are doing our best to move on and show Jack that its a good thing. Jerry on the other hand keeps just making stay in this funk he's in. Telling him stuff like 'Oh, you did the best you could' and whatever like Jerry just leave him alone. That's what we keep saying. But he doesn't like listening to us. One morning it was raining and Jack again had made his way to the couch and looked out the window. I was in the kitchen with Eddie and Orianna. I sighed big when Jack slumped his way past us. Orianna looked at me with eyes that read 'don't do it.' I was so tired of Jack being like this. I ignored what Orianna's eyes told me and walked over to Jack. I looked down at him and he looked back at me.  
"Ok Jack, it's time for you to get up off this couch and stop looking out that DAMN WINDOW. So get up off your ASS and move the fuck on! You're getting us all down and we are ALL SO TIRED OF IT!" I yelled and walked back to the kitchen. Eddie and Orianna just looked at me. They couldn't believe that I just did that, but I did. So what. I didn't care. What would saying all that do. Maybe get him up and do shit around the house. So I really just did everyone the favor of a life time.

* * *

Kim

* * *

As I drive along the highway to godknows where, a thought hit me. What if Jack was happy that I left? What if he was just going to break up with me anyway. I mean I couldn't just give him that, but what if he wasn't happy? Then if I came back he would just get his hopes up for me staying. I was still in Seaford of course, but almost out, and into a smaller town than Seaford, called, Fort Collinsway. I know, the names of these towns! It's just crazy! They were crazy, the people who name these places must have been smoking something when they signed those papers. My phone started buzzing, it was my mom. I didn't have the heart to tell her I was leaving, even after everything that happened between us, She loved me. When I looked down, to pick it up, I swerved on to something, landing me and my car in a ditch in front of the Fort Collinsway sign. I was almost out. Almost out of this town. So close. Yet so far.

* * *

Jerry

* * *

I was sitting down watching 'Swag Factor' when Julie, Grace and Orianna came into the room and grabbed the remote off of the table and click on to the news.  
"Hey-" I began to protest what was going on before Julie interrupted me.  
"Shh Jerry! There's been a major car crash by the Fort Collinsway border, and they'll be doing a story on it soon."  
"Who would be heading to Fort Collinsway? Unless they were going right through, its like the easiest border to get past."  
"We know. That's why we have to put it on, see who would be leaving SeaFord." Orianna added.  
"Can you at least let me finish watching Caravaggio and Maniella, They are so going to be voted to stay on tonight!" I complained.  
"No!" The girls shared a death glare at me while they yelled in unison. They all sat on the couch, squishing me to the corner and continued to watch the oh so boring news, but I wanted to see this just as much as they did. I wanted to see who would really want to leave SeaFord, and for Fort Collinsway. It itched at me as they finished up a story on a kid who got sent to jail for murder in Gales-night. **(Yet another made up town by; me ) **When they finally said what story was coming up next I felt a excitement come through me. When they returned back to the screen my stomach made little tiny 'The Jerry's ' **(See what I did there? ;) _)  
**"This next story will be on a women who was found on the side of the road while leaving the town of SeaFord, she was found just on the border of Fort Collinsway. We go to Katrina who is live at the scene. Katrina."  
".. Thanks Keven. Here we are at the scene of what seems to be a terrible car crash of one Kim Crawford, she was sent to the hospital with many injures to her internal parts of her body..." The voice became faint and we all stared in silence, our mouths wide open, we all couldn't believe what we had just heard. Little did we all know just was standing in the hall behind us, hearing everything was Jack. He stood shocked. Fear raced his face. He went to go for his keys and jacket, then Orianna and Grace blocked him from the door. When he tried to push past the girls, but Orianna held him back and pushed him back to the hall.  
"Jack, you need to calm down! You can't leave this house." Orianna said, pointing a finger at him with her hand laying on her hip.  
"I need to go see her Orianna!" Jack cried. A tiny tear slipped down his cheek.  
"Jack, you need to stay here. OK, that's the least you can do for her. Just stay here" I explained to him.  
"Yeah, Jack. Listen. Me and Orianna and Grace will go down there and see her. Then we can just see where she is with you guys." Julie explained, grabbing Jack's keys from him, waving to the rest of the girls, as they left out the door and hopped in to Jack's car.  
'' The girls will figure it out for you bro,'' I said hitting him on the back and walking back to the couch.

* * *

( Julie )

* * *

We got into Jacks car and all gave each other the same look. A worried look. A look that made us all that we shouldn't be doing this, but we were anyway. We had no idea what we would even say to her. What could we say? Nothing. We had no possible idea. None. I mean what would you say to a friend who practically ran away from you and her boyfriend, and family. Then gets in a car crash.. Hi wasn't going to do. At all. When we got there, we all gave each other the same way we did as we got in. This made a shade of worry fill my face. Milton had been texting me since the time we walked outside the house. Making sure we got there and what was going on. _'I'm here now Milty. I'll text you when we leave.' _I quickly taped away on the keys of my brand new white blackberry curve. I sent it then slipped it into my pants pocket. We walked to the desk with a nurse that had a name tag that read 'Mindy' on it.  
"Hi, What Room and Floor is Kimberley Crawford on?"  
"Um, She is just finishing up surgery. You can see her on floor 5 room 507, in 30 minutes. Here's a free pass for all of you for something to eat in the cafeteria." She gave a light smile and passed us three pieces of paper, that we're like little bus slips. They said 'Free lunch pass' I handed them around to Grace and Orianna.  
"Thanks." I smiled back showing off my newly whitened teeth. We turned around and headed to the second floor to the cafeteria. We walked in and you could smell the food poisoning coming off everything. So we just ended up getting some fruit cups and coffee's. We weren't even in the mood to eat that much anyway. Waiting felt like the clock was a total snail, it was like every 20 minutes the clock would be only moving a minute fast. But when the last of 30 minutes finally ended we took one more minute of waiting then headed to the 5th floor. There was more nurses here.  
"Hi, I'd just like to confirm that Kimberley Crawford was out in room 507 and out of surgery?"Grace asked.  
"Um, one second. I'll check that for you."  
"Thanks!" Orianna smiled. The women typed up something up on the computer and then wheeled her chair back toward us.  
"Yes, and yes. She should be waking up quite soon, just please be very quite. She's been through a lot." The nurse who's name seemed to be Nancy said, like we didn't already know that! We slipped into the room and sat down in the chairs that surrounded her. After a few minutes she groggily woke up from her sleep. She looked around the room at us, then sighed.  
"You guys are here?" She slumped her head back down.  
"Wow, Glad to see you too," Grace said.  
"Well if you guys are here it means Jack is too." She said slumping her head to the side away from us.  
"No, He's at home. We made him stay there. I promise." I explained to her, she spun her head back towards us. With a faint smile on her face. You could read all the joy in her eyes though. We knew she didn't want to see Jack anytime soon.  
"Oh." She said trying to be the slightest bit secretive of her happiness.  
"Kim, We know that you don't want him here. But, Why?" Asked Orianna.  
"I don't know.. Just I'm really tired, I love y'all and all but could you, go. So I can sleep." Kim said rubbing her eyes.  
"Of Course. See ya tomorrow?"  
"For Sure." She smiled and then closed her eyes and let us leave, as we did I silently closed the door and slipped down the hall to the rest of the girls We thanked the nurse one more time then went back down stairs.

* * *

{Kim}

* * *

As they leave the room thoughts are going all through my head. I didn't know why I didn't want to see Jack. Well I did, but I wasn't ready to actually confess to it. But, I knew what the right thing to do was. Just to make things better on me. I reached for the land line and dialed Jerry's house phone number. A familiar voice answered.  
"Hey, Jerry. It's Kim!" I said a bit weakly. I cleared my throat.  
"Kim! Hey! Have you seen Grace and them yet?" He asked happily.  
"Yeah, they just left. Look. Is Jack there? I need to talk to him" I asked him.  
"Oh, Jack. Yeah, he's here. One second." I heard his hand cuff the phone then seconds later Jack came up to the phone. His voice frantic and worried. I could tell he was just waiting for Jerry to hand the phone over to him.  
"Kim! Hey!" I could just _hear _his smile.  
"I think we really need to talk." I said with breaks in my voice from being overly tired.  
"Kim.. You don't need to say anything. I get it."  
"No, you don't. It's just that every time that you talk to me, or laugh-" My voice was breaking more than ever now, and not from being tired it was from the tears coming up to my eyes. "- every time that you smile. I see _her_ " I said letting my tears fall. I could hear Jack breathing heavily.  
" I know you're crying.." He finally spoke. I wiped them away and sniffed.  
"No, I'm not" I lied.  
"Kim. I've known you way longer than anybody. I know you're crying"  
"Alright, fine I am. But I need to get some sleep. Bye."  
"Wait ! K-" I cut off the call with a simple click of the phone. I lay down and stuff my face into my hands. I felt the heavy thick tears touch the palms of my hands. I slowly cut them off then fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

{When she wakes up}

* * *

I woke up to Jack sitting across the room. I groaned and then turned my head away from him.  
"What are you doing here?" I sighed.  
"I'm here to see you, Kim. You can't get me out of here." He spat.  
"Jack. I don't need this y'know." I sighed, still avoiding his gaze.  
"Kim, can you look at me?" He said calmly. I turned my head towards him. "There she is.." He smiled.  
"Shut up." I laughed.  
"Can you just listen to me. For a few minutes, and if you don't like what I have to say I'll leave." He explained.  
"Fine" I agreed.  
"I've listened to you go on and on about boys you liked and I've seen you cry, stressed, angry, a mom.. and I still love you."  
"You love me?"  
"All ways have, all ways will Kim." He smirks, he comes closer to me and my face. The closer he gets the faster my heart starts to race. I feel like that 15 year old girl again. The one where her life wasn't over. The one who was in love, and happy. As his lips touch mine the memories we've had together, the first kiss. Our first words together. Everything comes flooding back to me. Jack loved me and I loved him. We were meant to be forever and ever.

**THE **

END


End file.
